If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, chances are you’re finding it really tough right now. You’re probably missing one another and missing all the perks of being in a relationship, the dates, the fun, and let’s be honest, the kissing and cuddling.
If you’re currently questioning whether your relationship is going to survive this difficult time, you’re not alone. People of all ages and couples who have been together for years are struggling too.
A successful relationship at any age, at any time, is all down to communication.
Not Enough Communication
Do you find yourself going weeks without talking to your other half? Could you happily go for another week or so without hearing from him or her? Or on the other hand, maybe you’re dying to Facetime and he just can’t be bothered? Do you find that actually you don’t have a whole lot to talk about now that you can’t go to Nandos or to the cinema together? Hhhm. It’s not the end of the world, but it might be worth having a think about whether you should stay together? Perhaps it’s worth talking to your other half and asking how they feel about lockdown, and if you were to go a few more months without seeing each other, would you be devo? Lack of communication makes it hard for couples to be open and honest with each other, and if you’re managing fine without talking to them at all, maybe you’d be better off being a single pringle during quar and spending it on Zoom with the gals instead.
Too Much Communication
A big red flag is someone who wants to communicate 24/7. We’re not talking regular snaps or nightly video calls, but constant pressure to keep in touch and tell them what you’re doing isn’t healthy. Do you feel comfortable enough to say you’re too tired for to Facetime? Or head to the shop without letting them though? You absolutely should be. In a relationship, you should feel confident and loved and listened to, but you should also be given space. Abusive relationships can be emotional too, and not just physical. So if someone is telling you that you have to be on Facetime at 5pm, or that you have to tell them where you’re going and who you’re seeing, that’s known as emotional abuse. You should definitely speak to an adult you can trust about issues like this, as this is definitely a reason to end the relationship.
You text throughout the day, but you’re not worried they’ll be mad if you don’t reply right away. You Facetime every other night, and get really excited to tell them about your day or vent about your parents or sister getting on your nerves. You can go a few hours without speaking but you don’t forget to check-in and see how they are. You think about them lots, but think about other stuff too. You call your friends some nights, and other nights, you call your bae. Healthy relationships are all about balance, and if you can survive balance in quarantine, you’ve got a good chance of being together for a long time.
You’re In It For The Long Hall
If communication is good and you feel positive about your relationship, there are little things you can do to make it a little earlier in all of this. Plan fun evenings and set out some time to spend ‘together’ to keep things fun and romantic.
Post is SO exciting in the quarantine era! Getting a letter from a loved one is so much more special and thoughtful than a text. Take it one step further and post them their favourite sweets, some photos and other bits for an ultimate care package.
Do you share a favourite movie or TV show? Opt for a Netflix party, where you watch the same movie together and can comment on your fave bits, the cute actors, or laugh together at the gags.
You can have fun by testing your knowledge of your favourite show (get some inspo from our quizzes) or your expert subject. Or better yet, test each other out on each other! Or your relationship. Each design a quiz on an app like Kahoot with questions like, ‘what date was our first kiss?’ ‘where was our first date’ ‘what is our song’ and see how well the other person can remember.
If your ideal date is a trip to Nandos or your favourite Italian, why not opt for a dinner date. Decide on what food you’re going to have and at what time, light some candles and meet on Zoom to dine together like a regular fancy restaurant date night.
All relationships have their ups and downs, especially in a pandemic! One you’re in a happy, healthy relationship and you’re having fun, that’s all that matter.