When it comes to a friendship ending, it’s never straightforward. It doesn’t matter if you’re 15 or 40, it’s never an easy decision to make or a simple thing to do. After all, you’ve probably spent a lot of time with this person and made some pretty great memories too. You and your best friend may have had a falling out, grown apart or maybe you’re just not getting on anymore. As well as that, it can be difficult to realise when it’s actually time to end a friendship.
Of course, everyone’s situation is different, but there are certain ways which can help you known when it’s time to end a friendship.
Toxic friendships are pretty easy to spot, unless you’re in one. These type of friendships can really hurt your feelings, and even result in you having low self-esteem, less confidence, or behaving in completely different ways. You may end up feeling on edge around them, they may make you feel emotionally drained, you feel isolated from your other friends, you put more into the friendship than you get out of it. Basically, a toxic friendship can really affect you in more ways than one, and the sooner the better you can get away from it.
If you’re in a friendship that’s selfishly one-sided, you’re gonna know it. Maybe your friend only wants to talk about what’s going on with them, and never really listens to your problems. Or maybe they never take your feelings into consideration when making plans. It may not be exactly deliberate, but their actions come out as selfish and hurtful. If you do have a friend like this, try having a chat to them to explain how you’re feeling. And if that doesn’t help, it may be time to say goodbye.
There’s no trust
If there’s one thing you should have in a friendship, it’s trust. Of course, people can make mistakes, we all do. If it’s just a minor incident and you can easily see past it, then you can both move on. But if they’re constantly breaking your trust, whether it’s doing something behind your back or revealing something you trusted them with, it might be time to let them go.
They make you feel worse about situations
We all have enough negativity in our lives without our friends trying to make us feel worse about certain situations. Do they consistently point out your flaws? Are they always comparing you negatively to others? Do they slag you in hurtful ways? Your friend should be able to make you feel better about things, and vice versa, if they’re constantly bringing you down, it might be time to think about cutting ties.
You have different morals
Of course, friends can have different opinions on things. You might like comedy films, while your friend loves a horror. Or your favourite takeaway is pizza, while your friend can’t live without their weekly Chinese takeaway. But when morals come into play, a difference of opinion can easily break up a friendship. Unethical behaviour can be really hurtful, and it’s never nice to hear. If you and your friend have different morals, try to talk about the situation and why they believe certain hurtful things. If your friend still has nasty opinions on important issues, they’re probably not someone that you would want in your life.
So how do you actually end a friendship?
First up, let them know it’s really over, be totally honest and upfront. Remember, they were your friend at one point, so whatever has happened, tread carefully and do your best to be kind. Focus on your friends that make you feel good and that you love being around, they’ll make this time a whole lot easier. But if your friends are still friends with your ex-friend, don’t make them pick sides, it can be hard enough for everyone involved as it is.
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