How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Next time it happens, try these 3 steps.

They say ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and they say it for a reason.

Comparing ourselves to others can really affect us and sometimes stop us from seeing how great we really are. Before social media, people compared themselves to their friends and family and sometimes big Hollywood stars, but now there is so much more pressure because we can see all sorts of looks, achievements and lifestyles on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. While it’s fun to see the mansion a vlogger lives in, or be in awe of someone’s makeup talents, it can sometimes create a jealousy or emptiness because we wish we had those things too. Maybe you’re comparing yourself to your friends or classmates, wishing you were funnier, more confident or had hair just like her.

It’s time to combat these feelings and live your best life as YOU!

Are these unrealistic expectations? 

If you’re basing your comparison off social media, we can almost guarantee you it’s an unrealistic expectation. Sorry! If you’re wishing you looked like Kylie Jenner, had a party lifestyle like Nikita Dragun or had a super hot boyfriend or girlfriend like your fave influencer, it’s really important to ask yourself how much of it is real? And what else is going on outside of their IG post. Does Kylie Jenner really even look like Kylie? Is Nikita really having fun all the time? Is their relationship totally perfect? Often, we hear from celebs after a breakup or a big movie role, taking about the issues that were actually going on that no one knew about. While some of these people are truly happy and living their best life, it’s important to remember that you never, ever know the full picture. This goes too for people you know. Jealous of your friend’s perfect relationship? Wish you were as confident as that girl in class who always makes jokes? How do we know what’s really going on in their mind and whether they’re not jealous of a quality or trait you’ve got?!

Am I embracing my good qualities?

This is the thing you should probably focus on most. Are you sad you’re not confident and chatty? Maybe you’re the quieter friend who is always listening and come across as super self-assured. Jealous of your friend’s gorge shiny hair, maybe you’re not focusing on your pretty sparkling blue eyes. Comparing yourself to that friend who gets an A in maths, your best subject might be something she totally struggles with. If you’re sad your friend has two fab sisters, think about how close you are with your mam or your brother.

In focusing on qualities and things your friends/people you follow have, you might be missing out on all the best bits about your and your life! So maybe it’s time to focus on your best qualities because they are what make you uniquely you!

Can I use it to figure out what I want?

An obsession with other people or how they live their lives is never really a good thing and doesn’t do anyone any good. But sometimes, we can use feelings of comparison or jealously to figure out what it is we really want or what’s really going on with us. For example, look at the girl in school you are constantly comparing yourself to, is it her popularity that makes you feel inadequate? Maybe it’s time to reach out and make more friends. This could be as simple as chatting to someone on your lunch break or adding them on Snapchat. If you’re jealous that someone is fit, sporty and athletic, have a think about which sports you’d like to join and see if there is a team you can be part of. If there is a celeb or influencer whose cool style you love, have a look on Depop or Thriftify for some clothes that have the same vibe. It’s totally fine to apply the things you feel inadequate about to your life, as long as you’re not changing who you are to make yourself happy.

So, instead of being jealous or comparing yourself, use it as inspiration. Instead of focusing on what you’re not good at/don’t have, focus on your best qualities and embrace them, and remember, the things you envy about someone else might not even be the way you see them on social media!


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