It’s Okay If Father’s Day Is Hard For You

Many people have a complicated relationship with the day, this might help.

Father’s Day is upon us again this month and depending on your own personal situation, it can bring up all sorts of feelings.

For those who have their dads around and are close to them, it might instil a last-minute panic to buy them something nice, or it might just mean you make him a cup of tea or give him a card on Sunday. Maybe you don’t even think twice about the day and just hang out with your family like you usually would.

Unfortunately, for those who don’t have their dads in their lives, it can be really tricky.

It’s A Commerical Day Too

If this is you, it’s important to first remember that whatever you feel about Father’s Day is totally valid, all the posters, ads and emails can be a bit overwhelming and bring up all sorts of emotions.

If you can, remember that while it is a nice day to mark an important person, it is also a marketing idea for companies to sell cards and gifts. In remembering this aspect of it, you can help take the power away from the day that can hold so much pain.

That doesn’t take away from how tricky and weird the day can be, but if you’re putting pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or feel like you’re missing out on something important, try to remember that big companies are probably hoping to make lots of money as their main priority and often use emotion and specific language to tug at our heartstrings.

If You Don’t Have A Relationship With Your Dad:

Some people don’t have their dads in their lives due to a strained relationship, separation or fall-out which means the person who was once part of your life isn’t anymore.

Some people simply don’t know their dads or never met them and are instead raised by a single parent or guardian.

Of course, this can be really really hard and sometimes other peoples’ tributes and kind words about their dads can really emphasise your personal loss or absense.

If this is something you relate to remember this: You are still a whole person with so much love around you from people who are in your life. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, remember there are so many people who care about you and love you. If you like, you can honour them on Father’s Day by telling them that you appreciate them being around. If it’s too hard for you to do that or it doesn’t feel right, simply ignore the day as best you can, whether it’s staying away from social media or just treating yourself to a day of shopping.

If You’ve Lost Your Dad:

For others, who are grieving or whose dad passed away, Father’s Day can be a really difficult time too. You might miss the loss of your dear dad and find recent pics of your friends and their dads really hard to handle. Maybe before he died you didn’t give much thought to Father’s Day but now that he’s not here in the physical sense, it’s a huge reminder of what you’ve lost.

If this is something you relate to, remember this: You can still be part of this day if you want to. You can still celebrate and share photos of your dad, buy a gift he might have liked for his grave or make a donation to something he cared about, there are loads of ways to honour your late dad and if it feels right for you, do it in any way you see fit.

However, for some people it might be too hard to face Father’s Day right now and you’d rather if the day just wasn’t coming. In this case, it might be a good idea to spend a little less time on social media so that friends’ or celebs’ posts don’t upset you too much. If you think you might be bored and turn to your phone, make a plan instead to keep busy, whether that’s a day shopping with your mam or sister, a total TLC day where you get your nails done or make an at home spa. If you’ve gone through grief, you deserve to have a nice day, especially on a day you should be spending with your dad.

Whatever you do on Father’s Day, remember that it’s totally fine and understandable if the day is weird for you, if it makes you feel a bit uneasy, and if you’re not really sure what your place in the day is, all you have to do is spend it in the way that makes you feel best, because you deserve to feel your best.

 


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