Relationships can be really fun and make you feel great, but they’re not always meant to last, especially when we’re young.
Whether the person you’re seeing isn’t as great or as nice as you thought they were, or it just no longer feels right, it’s important to end it and do it in the right way.
Remind Yourself Why
It can be tricky to break up with someone for several reasons, first up, you might be nervous about being single again after having someone to spend time with for so long. Secondly, you might be nervous about hurting their feelings or it being awkward. What’s important to remember though, is that it’s best for everyone involved if you’re honest and don’t let it go on for too long when it no longer feels right.
If you’re nervous about ending things, and are considering putting it off, remind yourself how important your, and their, happiness is. Remember that in your teens and beyond, you’ll meet lots of other amazing people and have plenty of time for love, and that you don’t just get one shot.
Have A Think About What You’re Going To Say
One of the trickiest parts of breaking up is the actual talk. So it’s best if you know what you want to say to him or her. Ask yourself why you want to break up. Is it because you fight all the time? Is it because you have totally different interests or is it because they don’t treat you very nicely? If you need to, write it down in your notes or on a page. Once you figure out why you want to end things, it can be easier to find the words, and explain it in the best way possible.
Talk To A Parent, Sibling Or Friend
If you’re nervous about breaking up, or are afraid to head right to your soon-to-be-ex, talk it out with someone you trust. A parent, a friend or a big sister can help you to talk out why you want to break up, how you’re going to do it, and reassure you that it’s the right decision.
Do It In Person
In a time where we use our phones to communicate so often, it’s so important to break the news face to face (If you live near enough to meet up in person right now). Sure it can be easy to send a DM or a text with a crying gif, but it’s not exactly fair. If this person has invested time and care into your life and your shared relationship, it’s only fair you give them the dignity of a face-to-face breakup. Ask to meet them in a common space, like the park, so you’re not awkwardly saying goodbye to his parents, or your little brother isn’t eavesdropping from outside. If you can’t do it in person due to lockdown, make sure to clearly state that it’s not the way you’d have liked to do it.
It’s obviously not a fun thing to hear especially if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t expecting it, so be as gentle as possible. If you still care for the person, and feel they are a good person, make sure to start off with that. Something like “These past five months have been great, and I think you’re an amazing person, but I just don’t think we should be in a relationship anymore”. This way, you’re starting off with something nice, reminding them they’re not at fault, but making it clear that you want to split up.
Don’t Give False Promises
While it’s important to be gentle and kind, it’s also important to be firm. Don’t give them any false hope. It can be tempting to ease the blow by saying “I think we need a break,” or “We might get back together in a few weeks” but it’s not a good idea because it gives them an unfair idea of the situation. Instead, use definite sentences like “I don’t think we work well together as a couple” or “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.”
Listen To Them
Be prepared for him or her to be a little upset, or angry or even very quiet. Whatever their reaction, it’s important to give them the space and time for it. If they cry, tell them “I’m sorry you’re upset, and I am too, but I really think this is best for us both”. If they get angry or say something mean, remind them that being hurtful won’t help. If they say nothing, be patient, and tell them that you understand they might be a confused or upset, but that you feel you’ll both be better for it in the long run.
Make Lots Of Fun Plans
Breaking up with someone can be tricky, and emotional, and even if it all goes okay you may feel a little upset or lonely after the big chat – even if it was your idea. So it’s important to make lots of plans to make sure you are enjoying yourself. Head to the cinema with your pals, and plan some weekend meetups, catch up with your parents over lunch and don’t forget about spending time with yourself. Plan some self-care treats, like face masks, a bubble bath or even just a day chilling out with your favourite magazine or podcast.
Make sure to enjoy being single, and don’t feel like you have to find a new BF or GF right away. There’s plenty of time for that!