Your best friend is someone who loves you, appreciates you and accepts you. They’re your support system when times are tough. However, it is important that you also have the tools to support yourself throughout the roller coaster that is life. The relationship you have with yourself will be the longest one you ever have. Therefore, you have to make sure it is the healthiest and kindest relationship of your life. If you don’t take care of it, it can have a serious effect on your mental health, your self-worth and self-esteem.
With that in mind, here are some tips on how to be your own best friend.
Speak kindly to yourself.
You might not think it but the way you speak to yourself can have a major impact on how you feel and how you see yourself as a person. If that little voice in your head is constantly telling you that you aren’t good enough, eventually you’re going to be fooled into thinking this is the truth.
So before you wreck yourself…remember to check yourself! Ask yourself is this negative narrative really how you should be speaking to yourself? Would you say these things to your friend? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t be speaking to yourself in that way. In fact, you should be your own biggest supporter. Aim to build yourself up rather than tearing yourself down. Speaking to yourself kindly will help you feel more secure and confident in who you are.
As the saying goes, ‘a mantra a day keeps the self-doubt away’. A mantra or affirmation is a positive statement you repeat to yourself each morning to remind you of your own self-worth, talents, and place in the world. These positive phrases can be as simple as ‘I am worthwhile’, ‘I am smart’ and ‘I am good’. If you say these daily, eventually these thoughts will become embedded in your psyche and they will keep your insecurities at bay when you aren’t feeling your best.
However, if you aren’t sold on positive affirmations, playing some upbeat, soul enhancing music can really help you wake up with a pep in your step and have you feeling ready to take on the world. Artists like Lizzo are famous for reminding us about the importance of self-love and self-appreciation. Listening to positive music like hers will leave you feeling like the empowered and independent woman you were born to be.
Be ok with making mistakes.
Often after we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up about it and are unnecessarily harsh. We tend to forget that making mistakes is part of being human because nobody is perfect. If your friend came to you upset after they had messed up, you wouldn’t punish them for their mistake. You’d show them some compassion. You’d tell them to stop being hard on themselves and to take it as an opportunity to become a better person. So why would you treat yourself any differently?
Once you give yourself permission to make mistakes, you have to be able to forgive yourself when you make them. Forgiving yourself for past failures is the best thing you can do for your mental health and your sense of self. When you choose to stop holding yourself up to an impossible standard and accept you aren’t perfect, you will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Forgiving yourself is key in maintaining a healthy and kind relationship with yourself.
Treat yo’self !
Listen up girls, your birthday shouldn’t be the only time a year that you enjoy the finer things in life. Giving yourself some TLC when life is getting a little too much and you’re feeling overwhelmed is essential in this journey of self-love and self-care. Slap on a facemask, order a takeaway, curl up with a good book and relax. Taking time to unwind is important for our mental health. It can give your brain a well-deserved rest and will allow it to refocus and realign with what is important to you.
Lastly, being your own best friend means accepting yourself for who you are- the good, the bad, and the ugly. You need to love and appreciate yourself, just like your friends and family do. As cheesy as it sounds, your uniqueness is your superpower. Being comfortable in what makes you different will allow you to grow in confidence and feel more secure in yourself. Once you accept your strengths and weaknesses you will be unstoppable.
By Caoimhe Bermingham