When you’re a teenager, there are plenty of ‘firsts’ life is consistently throwing at you. From your first period to your first exams, there’s so much to get your head around.
You’ve probably built your first kiss up to be a pretty big deal in your head, and it is a big deal – when done the right way, that is. So how can you make sure you do it the right way? We’ve rounded up the best advice to guide you though your first time locking lips.
It isn’t *that* important
Of course, your first kiss is a special thought and it’s totally understandable for you to want to place importance on it. But really, in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t *that* important. When it’s over, you’ll likely think to yourself ‘oh, that’s it?’, and so you shouldn’t place too much importance on it in your head. If you’ve kissed someone? cool, if you haven’t? not a big deal. Take a step back and allow things to just be, your time will come.
You shouldn’t kiss someone you don’t want to
Once you shift your mindset into thinking your first kiss isn’t the biggest deal in the world, you’re so much less likely to end up kissing someone just for the sake of it. You don’t owe anyone a kiss, and nor should you lock lips with the first person you see just because your friends pushed you into them insisting you’d make a ‘cute couple’.
Say it with me – we only kiss the people we want to kiss.
Read the room
Consent works both ways, and just because you have verbally or physically given your consent, doesn’t mean that it’s all systems go. If you’re into someone and would like to move things a little further there are plenty of ways you can gauge if they feel similarly.
Read their body language, are they leaning towards you? are they keeping eye contact? are they touching you anywhere? If all the answers are yes, then you can probably assume that they’re into you. If you’re not entirely sure, simply slip in a well-timed ‘can I kiss you?’ and if the answer is yes – well, you know what to do next.
Often, it’s not that great
Yep, we’re sorry to disappoint. Often we spend our whole youth romanticising the moment we kiss someone for the first time and when it comes to the moment, it isn’t nearly as good as we imagined it to be. Usually, if you ask someone what their first kiss was like the words ‘awkward, and sloppy’ are what first come to mind – yikes.
So, maybe be realistic about what your first kiss may be like in your head – or y’know, don’t bother imagining it at all and just go with the flow, you do you!
Keep it simple
In the lead-up to your first kiss, it’s totally normal to try to plan out how it will go. You’ve probably Googled kissing techniques, watched too many teen films where they discuss ‘tongue or no tongue, and been given lots of tips and tricks from your friends. But, the truth is, it’s probably best to keep things simple, at least for your first kiss.
Begin small and slow with simple kisses, pay attention to what the other person is doing, and carefully mimic their actions back. You’re both equally in control of what’s happening and it’s important to know that neither of you needs to the most, even if every coming-of-age comedy ever tells you that you should.