Toxic Friendship Traits: How To Spot Them And How To Deal With Them

From the competitive friend to the double-crossing one...

Friendship should be lovely, and uplifting and positive. Like any relationship you’re bound to have ups and downs and even the odd big fight! But it’s important to look out for the more negative traits that could be impacting your life. We’re taking a look at the different types of toxic friends and how to deal with them.

The Competitive Friend

How to spot: She’s always got an eye on what you’re wearing, where you’re going and who you’re going with, and she won’t think twice about criticising you once the mood takes her. Her pet peeves include you getting attention from lads and the fact that you are doing really well in school. It would actually kill her to see you thriving and doing well with your life and living it to your fullest.

How to deal: Don’t let her get to you. Competitive people usually suffer from low self-esteem so the sad truth is that she might feel better when you feel sad. Don’t let this person annoy you and believe in yourself even when they say something rude. It’s not always easy to be the better person. Pull her up next time she criticises you and tell her that you don’t think it’s fair. If she tells you your outfit isn’t nice, proudly tell her that you feel good in it, so you’re going to keep it on. Show her that her nasty comments won’t bring you down, and she may eventually stop jumping straight to a mean comment.

The Double-Crossing Friend

How to spot: Despite the fact that you two are closer than twins, this friend wouldn’t think twice about dropping you at the drop of a hat. From picking a date over you, to letting you take the rap for her bad behaviour, her “I’m invincible” attitude might be her downfall. 

How to deal: You need to stand up for yourself before it’s too late. A friend in need is a friend indeed, but if she leaves you high and dry when you need her the most, you might want to cut back on time you spend with her. If you feel like a doormat with the way she treats you, speak up. There’s always a possibility that she doesn’t realise she’s hurting you, but there’s always a chance she’s doing it because you’re letting her get away with it. 

The “All About Me” Friend

How to spot: She’s the one who needs a group of mates around her 24/7, hanging on her every need. Whenever she texts it’s to talk about her, and you often feel like she doesn’t give a crap how you are. When she’s not telling you exactly how she feels about her latest crush, she expects you to enquire about what she had for breakfast.

How to deal: Okay, talk about high-maintenance. Your friend needs to understand that she’s not the centre of the universe and that, shock, horror, you have a life too! Remind her that a friendship or a relationship is not one-sided. Start talking about your day and if she changes it back to her, just wait for her to finish and go back to your story. Something like: ‘Yeah, but as I was saying, I think this show is brilliant, and I think you should definitely all watch it’.  That way you’re bringing the story back to you to balance out the conversation and remind her that you were actually the one talking. It’s about two people. 

As will all friend issues, most can be helped with a little chat or pointing out to your friend that you’ve got a problem. The good ones will understand (even if they’re a little defensive at first), and it’ll strengthen your friendship.