What To Do When You Find Out You’ve Been Cheated On

Being cheated on is never easy, but there are small things you can do to feel better

Being cheated on is never a nice feeling, fact. Whether you saw it coming or it was a total curveball, realising that your boyfriend or girlfriend has done the dirt will give even the most confident girl’s self-esteem a battering.

But, the strange thing is, feeling low about yourself really shouldn’t be the case. Infidelity is a reflection of the chapter, not the em, cheatee. Think of it this way, is it your fault that your partner doesn’t understand the concept of trust? Nope.

Every situation is, of course, different, but getting back to yourself is never easy after getting your confidence knocked. But don’t worry, there are some steps you can take to help you on your way to feeling better again. Because if Lizzo taught us anything, it’s that picking yourself up and dusting yourself off is the best thing a bad b*tch can do.


Accept How You Feel

Don’t ignore or shrug off your feelings. You’re hurt, and rightly so, you’ve just been majorly betrayed by someone you care about. Understand that everything you’re feeling is totally normal. The more you suppress your feelings, the longer they’re likely to stick around. Remember, it’s okay not to be okay.

Speak To Someone

Just like bottling up your emotions will do you no good, keeping your thoughts to yourself is a sure way to feel down. Whether it’s your best friend, your mam, or a sibling, speak with them, let them know how you’re feeling. Sharing your upset with someone else will always make you feel a million times better, so let it all out!

Don’t Try To Get Even

When you’re feelings are hurt, anger is a natural reaction. But, trying to get back at them by bad-mouthing them, or hooking up with one of their friends is never the way to go. They’re in the wrong, not you, so keep your head held high and remove yourself from the situation with dignity.

Don’t Blame Yourself

It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you’ve been cheated on. Jumping to the conclusion that they obviously did it because ‘I’m not pretty, or smart, or funny enough’ is a natural reaction. But, it’s important to take a step back and assess the situation, what your girlfriend or boyfriend has chosen to do has nothing to do with you, you’re not responsible for their actions, therefore, you shouldn’t feel to blame.

Ask For Closure

Approaching this situation isn’t always easy, but getting closure on the relationship can sometimes be the best way to get over it. When you have taken time out to calm down, you have every right to reach out to that person and ask them for closure if you feel you need it. Having a brief chat with the person that hurt you can sometimes do you the world of good, letting them know how they made you feel and how you want to put an end and/or carry on after the situation is the most mature way you both can handle things.

Look After Yourself

Experiencing such an emotional trauma can leave your head in a total spin. You might be feeling a lot more stressed than usual, and finding it hard to concentrate on things from concentrating in school to making sure you get a good night’s sleep. The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself during this turbulent time, make sure you’re eating healthy, sleeping well, and being mindful. Engage in the things that you enjoy doing, whether it’s reading a book or taking your dog for a walk, put yourself first and know that you will come out the other side an even better and more resilient person.